The forgotten victims of Domestic Violence

Children: The forgotten victims of Domestic Violence

Whenever there is an incident of domestic violence in the home and there are children in that home, there become two victims.

It is difficult to estimate the number of children affected by observations of parental violence. Based on a national study which concluded that 3 million households experience at tleast one serious incident each year, one researcher estimated that at least 3.3 million children yearly are at risk. This is probably a conservative figure due to underreporting and the exclusion of divorced families in the database. How are children affected by witnessing these acts of violence? Studies find that children react in a variety of ways depending on mitigating factors such as the age and sex of the child; the intensity and frequency of the violence; and parental responses to the family in crisis. Effects can be grouped into four categories; somatic, risk of physical injury of neglet, socioemotional, and learning to model violence. Children do not often link their physical complaints to the probelms in their families. However, studies have identified several common conditions; headaches, stomach aches, diarrhea, ulcers and other intestinal problems asthma, sleeping difficulties such as insomnia, sleepwalking and nightmares. Children are at risk of physical injury to themselves, whether intentional or accidental, especially if they attempt to intervene on behalf of the victimized parent. If there is violence between the parents, there is likely to be violence directed toward the children by the parents or by the siblings. In one study of battered women, 43 % reported that their husband's violence was directed against their children. (Prescott, S. & Letko, C. "Battered Women: A Social Psychological Perspective".)

Effects of Violence on Children

Children tend to exhibit different socioemotional effects depending on their age and sex. Very young children tend to exhibit somatic complaints or regress to earlier developmental levels, children who have been toilet trained may begin to have accidents. Children who witness abuse also learn other things about violence. They may begin to think that violence is an appropriate form of conflict resolution or stress management. After all a litany of excuses have justified every beating that they have witnessed.

From observing the children that are served by our agency
we have seen that children respond to violence in different ways.

Regression: Behaviors include withdrawing from social interactions, and displaying age-inapproprate behaviors, such as thumb sucking and bed-wetting. Young girls tend to show more regressive behaviors than boys. This can be explained by how society shapes males and females.

Aggression: This behavior is seen more in boys than in girls. Becoming the bully, hitting, using violence to get what they want and control those around them.

*The Perfect Child*: A drastic change in the child's needs to "please" everyone in their life. Comments chidlren have made: "If I was better dad wouldn't hurt mom." And "I'll practice being good so dad won't hit mom."

Parentified Child: The child that becomes the parent to other children in the family, or being parent to the parents. Taking on the adult role, cooking, cleaning, and caring for younger siblings, very mature in some ways. This child falls through the cracks in the system.

http://www.missingkids.org